Digg ThisMy bride received this email today and passed it along to me; I thought I’d share it with all of you anti-Wal*Mart folks out there, figuring you’d get a kick out of it. A couple of them are downright hilarious; some are banal; others are gross (fair warning hereby given!), but funny if you think about them (obviously, this list was made by a guy with far too much time on his hands!).
NOTE: I did not write this list, and I take absolutely no responsibility if you try these stunts! While I have issues with how Wal*Mart does business, I have to admit that they do fulfill a need within the community at large; my big issue with Wal*Mart is the Jane Campbell/Steelyard fiasco, which was handled in much the same way as many other items the current administration has handled inappropriately.
‘Nuff said about politics; now for the humor:
15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their dear, sweet time:
- 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they aren’t looking.
- 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
- 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
- 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares…” and see what happens.
- 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.
- 6. Move a “CAUTION - WET FLOOR” sign to a carpeted area.
- 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you’ll invite them in if they’ll bring pillows from the bedding department.
- 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”
- 9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
- 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
- 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.
- 12. In the auto department, practice your “Madonna look” using different size funnels.
- 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say “PICK ME! PICK ME!”
- 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream “NO! NO! It’s those voices again!”
- 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here!”
I know at least two of these will get you arrested, convicted, and put away for a very long time.
Or just put away.
Have fun!
