collisionbend.com

I know, it’s been a while. I’ve been busy looking for a job and trying to crank out some leads for free-lance work. I’ll keep you posted (no pun intended).

So my bride and I went to Marc’s tonight, and on the way out, I noticed that my cell phone had a voice mail message on it.

Great. It’s probably my brother, the one who hasn’t figured out that my cell phone is for emergencies first, critical communications second, and casual conversation not (he evidently thinks everyone uses their cell phone as a primary phone). When we got into the car, I had a listen to the message.

I can’t print everything it contained here (this is a G-rated blog, for the most part).

What I can tell you is that the message was from some guy named Steven (sc? meh — whatever) to some guy named Kevin, and he was thinking about getting some of that warming KY… something else about nipples… and something else about what would follow would make “the perfect evening.”

It was a lot more specific than that, let me tell you; his “sweetheart” must be one lucky guy. Needless to say, I was a bit shocked. The last thing I expected on my voice mail was to have some swish leaving me x-rated messages. I’m sorry, I just don’t go that way, OK?

I can imagine, as I obviously didn’t return the call (yet — hehe), that since Kevin never returned Steven’s call either, that this missed communication caused some strife in their relationship: “You never called me back! How could you??!?” And, if so, they deserve it.

(Of course, I’m assuming that some toad didn’t give Steven his real number and gave him my number — unknowingly — as a fake so that he wouldn’t have to deal with some goat of a guy after he left the bar.)

This message was totally senseless, in my mind. When you make a cell phone call, the first thing you should do before you leave a message is verify the number — hopefully by actually talking to the person on that number.

Next, you shouldn’t leave racy messages like that: you never know — that is, if you have the wrong number — who is on the receiving end of your message; if I was a militant gay-basher, or seriously warped in the brain, or so totally insecure with myself that I had to beat the crap out of someone who made a pass at me, I could track him down and do some damage.

Thirdly, if you do get a wrong number, and you leave your number in a message like that, who’s to say that you might not reach a blogger? That could lead to real heartburn, if you ask me…

Fortunately for Steven, I am fairly tolerant; this does not mean that I won’t get into my evil, sick, wicked, and twisted mind and have some fun with this — it’s just too good of a gag to pass up!

Any suggestions?

(73.8 — 12.2 — 61.6)