collisionbend.com

OK, having lived in Cleveland for almost 50 years, I think I’ve just about seen it all when it comes to winter stupidity.

I took the long way home from my weekly small business networking meeting this morning, as the weather last night whomped Mentor with about a foot of snow in places, making the roads a bit of a mess.

My usual route home from the Panera Bread on Mentor Avenue east of Heisley Road is up through the back streets past Mentor City Hall and Mentor High, then straight down Lakeshore Boulevard deep into Euclid, iPod on all the way. It gives me time to think creatively without the distraction of my Inner Editor.

My route this morning, instead, was straight down Mentor Avenue through Willoughby (where it becomes Vine Street) to Lakeshore. And, on my way home, I saw this:

I must add here that this was not the first car I saw like this. Neither was it the second, nor even the third: it was the fourth in a 12-mile stretch. Each one of them was driving like a bat out of hell, too.

Now, this should be illegal.

In fact, I think it is, but you never see a policeman detain someone like this and write a ticket.

They should: people who don’t take the time to clean their windows and license plates shouldn’t be allowed behind the wheel, as they are a hazard to the rest of us: they can’t see, their hearing is impaired (the snow actually muffles outside noise), and if they dodge between lanes enough, people will get hurt.

And worse yet: they don’t care, either.

What if an emergency vehicle were to come up behind them? They wouldn’t see it to get out of their way. Just imagine the guy in the back of the ambulance having a heart attack, on his way to the hospital, dying in the truck because the ambulance driver couldn’t get around this stupid fool.

Does a vehicular homicide charge make sense?

But, then again, I remember one event quite clearly: about 20 years ago, I lived in Berea and worked in Lakewood. Traveling down the Berea Freeway one snowy morning, I watched in horror as some chick (sorry, but this one is warranted) in the car behind me was busy donning her makeup in her rearview mirror — at close to 60 miles an hour on a slippery roadway, in the high-speed lane — with only a 15-inch round opening in her windshield directly in front of her, the rest of her car under at least 8 inches of snow.

A real brainiac, no?

She never saw the truck that cut her off, sending her to the left, spinning into the barrier in the median, then over to the guardrail on the right, and eventually rolling her over two or three times. Fortunately, she missed every other car on the highway — no small feat during rush hour.

Her car ended up as flat as a pancake; I’m sure she was, too.

And it served her right.

BREAKING NEWS

CLEVELAND, OHIO — Apparently, the Euclid Beach Park sign, the last vestige of one of Cleveland’s fondest memories, sustained heavy damage from a vehicle that smashed into it.

Upon hearing the news, I drove to the scene, near East 158th and Lakeshore Boulevard. I apologize in advance for the photo quality, but the batteries for my DiMAGE weren’t charged, and all I had available to me was my cell phone.

According to WKYC News, someone drove a vehicle into the right post of the sign, which spans a driveway to the projects apartments to the north of the Boulevard.

As I arrived, I pulled over into the driveway apron, as the driveway itself was roped off. From that point, I witnessed several Cleveland city workers inspecting the damage, including one man with a blue city-issued jacket with the words, “Demolition Manager” on the back. Bet you didn’t know Cleveland had a Demolition Manager, did you?

Well, now you know.

From this angle, you really don’t see the true extent of the damage, save for the height. At least the people in the images give you an idea. The next photo, however, will show at least that the sign cannot stand for long as is, for the structure is hollow; folks from the Cleveland Restoration Society say that it should be repairable since the structure has a frame.

This last image was taken from the center lane. I drove down the street and turned around to get a different angle. Unfortunately, my cell phone camera has limited ability for important shots like this.

Police are looking for the idiot driver of the SUV that hit the sign.

They looked bad. Real bad. The Buckeyes tonight were totally outclassed, outcoached, and outplayed, losing to Florida 41-14. They lost big, suffering one of the most embarrassing losses I’ve ever seen a team — any team — suffer. Utterly atrocious.

Troy Smith looked fat and slow. So did the rest of the team. They looked as if they’ve been partying for the last 51 days. At one point, the camera focused on Bucks’ defensive end Jay Richardson, and he was panting furiously for air, sweat pouring down his face like a water spigot on full blast, like he couldn’t get enough.

Tressel looked totally confused. Talk of him renegotiating his contract after winning his second National Championship in four years, was fruitless. In fact, Tressel doesn’t deserve it: he has to go back to the drawing board with this one.

In fact, he screwed the pooch tonight: now his recruitment task is that much harder — how are you going to draw the best talent when you let one of the biggest games in school history fall from your grasp before you even take the field?

Now, you can say that a 51 day layoff hurt. Probably. In fact, I think the NCAA has to change that rule immediately. But that’s not the reason the Bucks were pounded tonight.

Heismann letdown? Possibly.

Michigan letdown? Maybe. I doubt it, though. But beating Michigan is the highlight of the 2006 season.

My prediction: Buckeyes fall to No. 5 — or lower — in the final BCS standings. Which is generous, when you consider that they didn’t even look like they even belonged in the Top 25.

Grrrr…..

So, anyway… “Denim ‘n Dinge” returns to the Bend tonight: it’s not complete, as I haven’t had time to totally test it, so if there are a few unvarnished spots I apologize. I’ll get to it as soon as I can…