SEE ya!!!!!!

Dear (local Cleveland car dealer),

Thank you so much for your interest and belief in me. Thanks also for your belief in your product.

Unfortunately, I have chosen to purchase a brand-new, 2008 Mercury Milan. The features were far beyond what your cars offered, the quality was far beyond as well, and I have placed myself in a vehicle that meets my immediate and future needs better than what we looked at at your place.

My decision has no bearing on you as a salesperson; it was your product that left me in the lurch: you had better, and you could do better (price-wise), and you could have given me a better price on my trade. Beyond that, you could have skipped the lies and twisted truths that you use to badger people into submission.

But, I digress…

You did well, and I respect the work that you did with me, and so I must offer a reply in kind to let you know that you can stop pestering we with your follow-up calls: I ain’t returning them, and I regret giving you my number.


In short, you lost. But, in your business, you lose more often than you win. You’ll make enough to get by — until you realize that lying, strong-arm tactics, bullying, and nagging will send people screaming away rather than running toward you.

Good Luck (sick of your bullshit),

Will Kessel

P.S. — Here’s a list, not comprehensive, of cars and dealerships that I looked at, and what they told me about the cars:

2 – 2006 Malibu’s at Saturn of Mentor: both had “lelan” CarFax reports — both skipped sideways so badly over a bump that it was obvious that both cars had been hit — badly.

2 – Malibu Maxx’s at Sims Buick-Pontiac in Euclid. Both had “clean” CarFax reports — one had obvious damage to the rear quarter, and the other had a really bad pull — the kind of pull you get when the car has been broadsided and hasn’t had a realignment or a frame straightening.

2 – Volkswagen Jettas, one a 2003, the other a 2004 (the 2003 at Classic Toyota, the 2004 at Classic Volkswagen-Hyundai): both had accidents, and a clean CarFax report. The one salesman admitted it when pressed, the other didn’t.

The folks at Classic Volkswagen-Hyundai in Mentor then allowed me to drive a 2006 Sonata with 15,000 miles. It had a leaky transmission, which my mechanic found. It had been obviously sanitized. When pressed, they knew nothing about it.

I wanted to look at a couple of cars at Classic Ford in Mentor, but couldn’t get a salesman to help me — on a Monday evening. The $14,000 2007 Fusion in their ad turned out to be a $26,000 Fusion fully loaded.

I looked at a PT Cruiser at Brunswick Auto Mart. Worst mistake I ever made. They promised the moon. They gave me an unbeatable price, and an unbelieveable amount for my Sable, then said I could get 7.9% financing over 5 years on their car — when Chrysler was offering 2.9% over 5 years — and then wouldn’t let me out of the dealership for almost an hour, trying to pressure me into buying.


I looked at a 2008 Milan at Liberty Lincoln-Mercury in Independence. They quoted me an X-Plan price of $19,690 on an I4 Milan with the automatic package — and nothing else — and then proceeded to tell me that they could give me that price and it included my car as a trade — yet never placed my car on the proposal as a factor in the price.

Call that one the old “home run ball.”

There are far more examples, but these are the most relevant: if you want respect, don’t bullshit or over-pressure your prospective clients. Don’t give them a line. Don’t disrespect them.

Where I bought my Milan, they quoted me a far lower X-Plan price for the same I4 Milan with the Moon and Tune package (moonroof and 6-disc/Sirius stereo) than Liberty did for the same car without the Moon-and-Tune package. They even showed me the invoice and handed me a calculator. Then they credited my car in the deal, then figured the tax…

They were honest. I ended up buying from them. Then I ended up with Z-Plan, which sealed the deal.

Now I have a new car, a 2008 Mercury Milan I4 in Silver Vapor with a Charcoal interior, Moon-and-Tune, and the automatic package. It’s a great car. Even at a little below sticker, it’s the best-little-known secret in the American Auto industry to date: a phenomenal car at an unbelievable price — even lower than Fusion with the same options — and nicer.

And I’m as happy as a clam, whatever that means…

1 Comment

  • by Daniella 18 Oct 2007 at 4:46 pm

    I loved this post, it is so real and yet over the top!

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