collisionbend.com

So I’m watching the Boston Red Sox in the World Series this week.

OK, you think the Indians should be playing instead of the Red Sox. Maybe you’re right; maybe you’re wrong: the Red Sox have the better team, statistically, and they have far more postseason experience. That alone should make them the immediate favorite.

This is not to say that the Indians wouldn’t have done well; I think they would have.

But they haven’t the seasoning the Red Sox have.

I’m sorry, but this year’s Indians were nowhere close to the Tribe of 1995 or 1997, when they last went to the World Series. Their players are nowhere near what their predecessors were at the same point in their careers, team-wise. Just look at the stats.

This isn’t to say they won’t get there: they will — trust me. They will do it again and again. And we will be quite happy as a result, believe me.

Just not this year. Or maybe not next year, either. 2009, however…

OK, so on with it:

I can’t believe all these people that want to say that the Indians lost last week because of the “Cleveland Curse” — or whatever that is. I’m here to tell you that there is no such thing. No such thing as “The Curse of Rocky Colavito.” Sorry, no such thing.

Nope, not at all. The “Cleveland Curse” belongs in your own mind, a figment of your own deflated self-image, and your deflated image of our fair city.

Sorry, but it’s true: there is nothing wrong with Cleveland. Nothing at all.

Well, maybe there is: we have a serious problem with our self-image. We think of ourselves as losers, which we are not. We think of ourselves as “less than,” which we are not. We think of ourselves as having less than other metropolitan regions in terms of goods and services, but that is not true, either. And we think that just because we have something going, that there is someone somewhere that will top us — just because we’re Cleveland.

The Indians didn’t lose to Boston last week because our fair team hailed from Cleveland — they lost because the Indians: a) didn’t show up for games 5, 6, & 7; b) were too inexperienced to shut down baseball’s premier team when they had the chance.

The Browns aren’t bad because of Romeo Crennel, either: they’re improving, slowly — give them a chance: Rome wasn’t built in a day — neither is a Super Bowl Championship football team.

Just ask Bill Bellichick.

Cleveland: you need to get a hold of yourself, shake yourself a little, and realize that you have a lot of things to offer. Quit trying to play with things, as you’ll only screw yourself; quit trying to play yourself into something you’re not: you’ll only screw yourself deeper into the hole we’re already familiar with.

Manipulation never works, OK? Just be who you are, and you’ll be alright. Trust me.

On other fronts: I’m having a hard time with junk mailers sending their items in envelopes marked “PAST DUE.” No past due bills in MY house, thank you. What galled me most was one that was in a gray envelope with a large, red banner with gray type spelling out “PAST DUE.”

A-holes. Use someone else’s colors, will ya? (Which reminds me… I have a redesign coming… hehe)

And another thing: why is it that the Shoreway’s drains never drain properly? Around E. 72nd, the road banks and curves left then right (or right then left, depending on your vantage point), and when it rains, the water runs over the road — at least an inch deep — because the drain cant keep up. With brand-new car, and excellent tires, I almost lost it the other day on one of those water patches. In rush hour.

Cleveland: you’re asking for a major pileup…

And why is it, when we live on a fresh-water lake, that our supposedly beloved public power plant has WHALES (get it: *salt* water) on the side of their building? They should have freshwater walleyes and bass instead… OK, carp, too…

More coming tomorrow… or the next day… I’m having a senior moment, sorry…