collisionbend.com

OK, having lived in Cleveland for almost 50 years, I think I’ve just about seen it all when it comes to winter stupidity.

I took the long way home from my weekly small business networking meeting this morning, as the weather last night whomped Mentor with about a foot of snow in places, making the roads a bit of a mess.

My usual route home from the Panera Bread on Mentor Avenue east of Heisley Road is up through the back streets past Mentor City Hall and Mentor High, then straight down Lakeshore Boulevard deep into Euclid, iPod on all the way. It gives me time to think creatively without the distraction of my Inner Editor.

My route this morning, instead, was straight down Mentor Avenue through Willoughby (where it becomes Vine Street) to Lakeshore. And, on my way home, I saw this:

I must add here that this was not the first car I saw like this. Neither was it the second, nor even the third: it was the fourth in a 12-mile stretch. Each one of them was driving like a bat out of hell, too.

Now, this should be illegal.

In fact, I think it is, but you never see a policeman detain someone like this and write a ticket.

They should: people who don’t take the time to clean their windows and license plates shouldn’t be allowed behind the wheel, as they are a hazard to the rest of us: they can’t see, their hearing is impaired (the snow actually muffles outside noise), and if they dodge between lanes enough, people will get hurt.

And worse yet: they don’t care, either.

What if an emergency vehicle were to come up behind them? They wouldn’t see it to get out of their way. Just imagine the guy in the back of the ambulance having a heart attack, on his way to the hospital, dying in the truck because the ambulance driver couldn’t get around this stupid fool.

Does a vehicular homicide charge make sense?

But, then again, I remember one event quite clearly: about 20 years ago, I lived in Berea and worked in Lakewood. Traveling down the Berea Freeway one snowy morning, I watched in horror as some chick (sorry, but this one is warranted) in the car behind me was busy donning her makeup in her rearview mirror — at close to 60 miles an hour on a slippery roadway, in the high-speed lane — with only a 15-inch round opening in her windshield directly in front of her, the rest of her car under at least 8 inches of snow.

A real brainiac, no?

She never saw the truck that cut her off, sending her to the left, spinning into the barrier in the median, then over to the guardrail on the right, and eventually rolling her over two or three times. Fortunately, she missed every other car on the highway — no small feat during rush hour.

Her car ended up as flat as a pancake; I’m sure she was, too.

And it served her right.