I’ll Bet Apple Would Have Done It Better…

OK, here’s the scene: we’re coming home from dinner at Applebee’s in Mayfield. We have an iPod (not mine) hooked up to the USB port connected to the car stereo, and the car is equipped with Microsoft Sync. This is exactly how this conversation went down, word-for-word, verbatim:

  • Car: Ding! “USB: Please say a command.”
  • “Play artist Duran Duran.”
  • Car: “Playing artist Carrie Underwood.”
  • Car: Ding! “USB: Please say a command.”
  • (More clearly and deliberately) “Play artist Dur-RAN.”
  • Car: “Playing artist Barry Manilow.”
  • Car: Ding! “USB: Please say a command.”
  • “Play artist Go f*** yourself!”
  • Car: “Playing artist the Arkies” (the Archies)
  • Car: Ding! “USB: Please say a command.”
  • “Play artist Billy Joel.”
  • Car: “Playing artist Billy Joel.”

Interestingly enough, the Billy Joel tune the car decided to play was “Innocent Man.”

Needless to say, I’m reprogramming my bride’s iPod.


Now, this is the conversation I imagine having if we had connected my iPod:

  • Car: Ding! “USB: Please say a command.”
  • “Play artist Eric Clapton.”
  • Car: “Playing artist Eric Clapton.”
  • Car: “NOW you’re talking! Clapton is GOD!”


And while I’m on the topic of Applebee’s: I was always raised to take my hat off when I entered a public building — it was something that a gentleman always did, as a matter of politeness, good manners, and common courtesy.

Tonight, I watched at least 5 grown men, sitting at tables, dining, wearing hats. One even wore a hoodie over his baseball cap, as if he was trying not to be seen, drinking a bottle of beer (not a glass).

Where have our manners gone?


Of course, one of them who was not handicapped in the least — nor was anyone in his party — had parked his brand-spanking-new Cadillac Esaclade in the handicapped spot right out front. They all jumped into the car — not one struggled. Not one looked the least bit guilty about it, either.

Yes, he had a placard hanging from the mirror, but I’m wondering: how much did he pay for it?

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